Day 4: Honest, Not Silent
What am I not saying? What am I holding back? Where do I feel it? What happens when I stay silent? What would happen if I chose to speak up? If I chose to be honest?
That’s a lot of cans of worms. Do I really want to open them????
All sarcasm aside, today’s session was really rather unsettling. We’re focusing on “honesty, intensity, and intimacy”. Alex says that clarity not only wants to show us the truth but wants to know if we want to live there. To live in that truth. She asks us to take a few deep breaths then take note of our jaws, throats, chests, and hearts. She says we hold what we don’t say in these areas.
She tells us that intensity and connection are not the same. Emotions, frequent engagement with another person – they’re part of the relationship but not the whole of it. Then she says that intimacy is more constant. It’s something that won’t crumble when faced with honesty. She wants us to think about where we are in our journey right now and the truth of our lives. Then she asks how it feels. We can be honest without having to give up a part of ourselves. But she wants us to really be honest about our lives, what’s working, what’s not, what we’ve been holding back. (Go back and re-read the questions at the start of this post.) She reminds us that we don’t need to have any answers to our questions today. She says “it’s ok to not be ok”.
But then she says, “Honesty changes things”, almost like a warning. And here’s where my chest constricts. This is where it gets dicey. Being honest is necessary, and we need to hold onto it. Live it. The problem is this: it could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. It could bring us closer together. Or it could tear a relationship apart. She calls it “misalignment”. I call it destruction. She says that it’s part of the healing process. So how do we get through it? Especially if we’re in constant contact with the person or relationship in question? I guess we’ll find out more tomorrow.
How are you feeling about this challenge? Are you making some discoveries about your truth? Your relationships? I wish you all the best today. I hope that you’re able to find your truth and hold it close. Just remember, as scary as all of this is, you are not alone. You are loved. You are worthy.
#7dayconnectionchallenge
#honestnotsilent
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