Day 3: Clarity, Not Blame
This meditation challenge is making me itchy and fidgety. Uncomfortable. Then again, I suppose that must mean that it’s working. Kind of a ‘no pain, no gain’ sort of thing. The first two sessions were centered on identifying what we give and what we receive, figuring out what is, and is not, in alignment, and what we need. It was all in the brain. Today, however, we moved to the body. And, like numbers, the body doesn’t lie.
To begin, Alex asks us to close our eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. Then we bring a relationship to the forefront of our minds. Here’s the thing: rather than think about the status of the relationship or the other person or analyze and judge it, she tells us to feel it. Where does it hit? The chest? The jaw? The shoulders? Wherever. It doesn’t really matter where it lands, what matters is that our bodies are telling us if something isn’t right. (You know, that gut feeling we get – and then promptly ignore.) She asks us to pay attention to the feeling. Is it relaxed? Is it tight? She asks if we’re comfortable. Or “tolerated”. Or on edge. She admonishes us to avoid blaming anyone, them or ourselves. That’s not what this is about. This is about seeing things more clearly, as if from outside of ourselves. She wants us to take a good look at what’s actually there, not want we think it should be or wish it to be, but what’s truly there. Without judgment or blame. Just lean into what we feel.
Here, Alex reminds us that “what you continue to tolerate becomes what you start to believe is normal”. Yikes. I don’t know about you but I can think of a few things in my life that have drifted that way. We put up with whatever comes our way, silently, saying yes when we mean no, never wanting to rock the boat and it becomes a way of life for us. It becomes the expectation even though it makes us unhappy. And our bodies continue to react, sending us SOS signals that we continue to ignore or suppress for the sake of others or the situation.
The end of the session offers us a ray of hope, however. Alex reminds us to sit with these feelings, even though they’re uncomfortable. Don’t reason. Don’t explain. Don’t blame. Just let our bodies relax. She wants us to remember that this is a safe space for us. We are loved. We are supported. Alex then asks us to consider some questions about how we feel regarding this relationship like how are bodies react, what feels good (or not), and what we haven’t yet confronted. She reminds us, again, that we are worthy.
I listened to the session again, pausing to jot down a few notes, sitting with what I was feeling, trying not to judge. I still feel a bit unsettled and I’m eager to figure out how to “fix” this, but I felt a shift today. I looked at the situation as if from the outside and observed the facts only. I felt where it hit my body and sat with it for a while. Then I set my intention for the day:
Today I will sit with what I feel to find clarity, without rushing to fix it.
That’s a tall order for someone like me, but I’m willing to give it a go. It’ll be ok.
How did today’s session sit with you? Are you beginning to find some clarity? I’d love to know what you think. Send a private message if you don’t want to post a comment. In the meantime I hope you have a great day. You are loved. You are supported. You are worthy.
#7dayconnectionchallenge
#claritynotblame
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Wholeness Health and YOU! 