January 20
“Today I will listen to my inner yes and no.”
I don’t know about you but setting boundaries has never been my forté. Like, ever. At least not in my personal life. Maybe with my children. Some. With my students, yes. But with administrators and colleagues, not so much. Any boundaries I’ve set have been more like bubbles: easily broken. 
Our teacher, Nedra Tawwab, says that we know what boundaries are; the problem lies in the fact that many of us don’t follow through with them. We “override” them to try to make everyone else happy. We sacrifice ourselves, or what we know we should protect, in order to not make waves. Problem is . . . we’re the ones who end up unhappy.
In our meditation today, she leads us in a breathing exercise during which we say, “yes” then “no” and notice what happens to us. No judgment. Just witness how we feel. Then she asks us to think of a situation that we normally say “yes” to, even though it means that our needs come last. Witness how we feel when we think of it. Then she says to imagine saying something like, “That’s not going to work for me” or “I can’t take that on right now” or just plain, “no”. How do we feel? Notice it, she urges. She says that we may feel relief. We may feel discomfort. (Me? My chest tightened up and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Crikey!) But then she says that every feeling is allowed.
She reminds us that boundaries are like a “container” surrounding us. It doesn’t have to be a brick wall; it can be flexible. The point is that it’s there for a reason: it protects and holds in what is ours and blocks what doesn’t work. Then she nearly knocked me over with what she said next:
“I am allowed to protect my energy. I am allowed to say no. My needs matter.”
I know it’s true – it’s just a matter of believing it and standing by my decision to say “no” and make sure that my “yes” is real and genuine. I want my relationships with others to be honest and caring. That starts with me. I hope this exercise sparks something in you as well. You matter. You’re allowed to say “no”. It really is ok.
#31dayintentionsettingchallenge
#protectyourenergy
#trusttheprocess
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Wholeness Health and YOU! 