Welcome back! I hope that you’re enjoying your new meditation practice and beginning to notice some positive changes in your life. With three weeks under our belts, we’re getting better at being present and aware, recognizing and resolving stress, and learning to experience things as if for the first time. Even if you aren’t seeing significant changes yet, I hope that you’ll stick with it. It’ll happen.
Week 4 focuses on an important, yet more difficult, practice: loving yourself. For many of us, this is a completely foreign concept. We’ve been raised to swallow our feelings, put everyone else higher on our priority list (as we slide further down), and even been led to believe that self-care is a selfish act. Self-esteem and self-worth are dependent on external factors. We expect so much of ourselves and treat ourselves poorly when things don’t work out as planned. Body image is a constant source of stress. And how many of us engage in negative self-talk? All of these things are detrimental to our well-being, and we know it, but how do we stop the cycle?
Science tells us that meditation actually changes the physical structure of our brains and that it helps provide clarity and awareness while promoting compassion toward ourselves as well as others. In fact, Sarah mentions the fact that “the areas of the brain related to empathy and compassion are more active in those who meditate than in those who don’t”. That, to me, means that meditating makes us nicer people. I like that. I think the world needs more nice people. Sarah goes on to talk about how compassion toward ourselves is just as important as compassion toward others and it has a positive effect on multiple aspects of our lives. I firmly believe that everything is connected – mind, body, and spirit – and when we’re in the right headspace, everything else kind of falls in line. We’re happier, healthier, kinder, and things (even the bad stuff) are doable. Compassion is also a great motivator, certainly better than negativity, for weight loss and helps reduce stress that can lead to illness.
One section in particular caught my attention: “Don’t believe everything you think”. We can sometimes be bogged down by our negative thoughts and Sarah encourages us to question those thoughts instead of blindly following along or believing them. She suggests that we ask these questions in order to really figure out how things would be different based on the answers:
- Who would I be if I didn’t believe that thought?
- How would I live my life without the thought?
This is one of the parts of this book that changed my life. I started dissecting how things were going and, when I realized I wasn’t happy, I asked myself these questions and spent a lot of time meditating on them. It provided me with some much-needed clarity and actually helped me make the decision to change careers.
The Loving Kindness Meditation is one that I go to every so often when I’m feeling sorry for myself and my negative self-talk gets to be annoying. This is a particularly grounding meditation that reminds me to have compassion for myself, but also to turn my compassion and empathy outward to those I hold dear and to those I don’t even know. It’s also helped me to come to terms with some people in my life that I find difficult to understand, interact with, or I feel have treated me unfairly. I’ve become more forgiving as a result and I’m grateful for that. It has helped resolve some of my feelings and oftentimes I can recall how I felt during the meditation and apply it to the situation at hand, therefore approaching it in a different, more calm, manner. I really hope you’ll try this one this week and that it helps you find peace.
It is my sincere hope that you’re enjoying this book and putting some of the exercises into practice in your daily life. Positive self-talk is difficult to learn, but can impact your life in ways you couldn’t have imagined. Practicing loving kindness could very well change a relationship you have with someone – and I hope that it does. Above all, I hope that you develop a practice of self-compassion that helps you become more at peace with yourself, your body, your life. You deserve it!
Next week: Becoming “Soul-Centered”: Week 5 – Intimacy: Connect to Your Soul
The information and exercises listed above are from Sarah McLean’s book “Soul-Centered: Transform Your Life in 8 Weeks with Meditation”. I have done my best to accurately quote Sarah as well as to adequately paraphrase and express my own thoughts regarding the information in her book.
The information provided on this website is intended for educational purposes only and is, in no way, a substitute for professional medical advice. ALWAYS talk with your doctor about conditions, medications, and concerns you have about your health and work together to determine the best course of action for you.
Wholeness Health and YOU! 