Hello and welcome back! (I know – it’s almost the end of January, but I wanted to try something before I wrote about it.) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the holidays, that 2023 was kind to you, and that 2024 is off to a good start. 2023 was certainly a whirlwind year for my family: college graduation, new jobs for each of my children, a memorable vacation, a new truck, continued happiness in my work, and the whole family together for Christmas. I am one grateful gal, that’s for sure! Did we have some struggles? Of course! But we learned valuable lessons and we take them with us into the next phase. That’s how we grow, isn’t it?
Speaking of growth, I received an email on January 1st that reminded me of last year’s “New Day’s Resolution” post. It brought up the fact that New Year’s Resolutions can be a source of terrible stress and anxiety for many of us. We put so much pressure on ourselves to turn things around (starting on New Year’s Day!) and when we fall short of our goals, it can be detrimental to our overall well-being. How do we combat that? Instead of “goal setting”, they suggest “growth setting”. So what, exactly, does that mean?
Well, let’s first look at traditional goal-setting. Some experts tell us that goals should be quantifiable and time-sensitive. In other words, put a number and a date on it. Something concrete that you can count or see, and within a specified time frame, so that you know you’ve achieved your goal. For example, “I’m going to pay off my credit card debt within the next 3 months” or “I’m going to retire in 5 years” or “I’m going to lose 25 pounds by Memorial Day”. While these might seem like perfectly reasonable goals to some, for many people they create unbearable anxiety. Many times we get frustrated with something which motivates us to take action and, depending on how ticked off we are, could lead us to setting an unreasonable goal. If we’re not careful, we set ourselves up for failure – especially if we’re not sure how to achieve those goals.
That’s where “growth-setting” comes in. In order to reach a goal we must complete tasks to obtain it. We can take the big picture and break it down into smaller parts. How do we do that? By developing the skills necessary to complete the tasks. If we concentrate on the skills, the destination will kind of take care of itself.
For example, I’d like to manage my time better. Ok. So how do I go about doing that? My first thought would be to make a to-do list and voila! Work on each thing, one at a time and they’ll get done, right? Unfortunately, to-do lists tend to put me in an anxiety-induced state of paralysis rather than serve as a motivator. Too many things. Too much for my brain to handle. Then I thought maybe I could prioritize the tasks. I do have a planner, so I began working on figuring out which ones are the most important or need to be done immediately. That was better. But I soon ran out of space. I still had things to do even after I listed the most important things first. On some days, it went back to being a huge, long to-do list, especially when I transferred tasks from one day to the next because they didn’t get done. So then I decided to eliminate the everyday things that I don’t need to write down, like empty the dishwasher or go grocery shopping. Those things were a given and my hubby and I get them done on a regular basis. I also stopped transferring items, particularly when I knew I wouldn’t have time to complete them. Instead, I put them on a day when I had extra time. And I put several easy tasks on those days knowing they would only take a few minutes each and I could knock them out with no problem. Suddenly, I was beginning to be able to check off the items on my lists. What a great feeling. One thing I did discover about myself, however, is that when I decompress by playing a certain game on my phone, a few minutes could easily turn into a half hour (or more!!!) So there was something else I needed to work on: limiting my game time. Once I began to set a time limit, I had more time to spend getting other things done, which led to more time to do the things that I wanted to do, which led to a calmer me because I didn’t have those things hanging over my head. Whew!
Now, 3 weeks later, I’m getting better at time management. Am I an expert yet? Absolutely not. But I feel good knowing that I’ve identified a few skills that will help me get things done so that I have more time for . . . whatever I want. I broke the process by asking myself just 3 questions: What is it I’d like to achieve? What tasks do I need to complete to get me there? and Which skills can I develop to make this happen for myself? Now I can continue my journey armed with new skills: 1) writing down only the immediate/important items in my planner 2) not transferring items 3) mapping out and doing tasks on days when I know I’ll have time and 4) limiting useless time-wasting. In fact, I’ve begun to switch my zone-out time to meditation which is much more beneficial. Then, later, I can play my game as much as I want. 🙂
I’m all about the ‘journey’ and I believe that, many times, it’s more important than the ‘destination’. I’m learning that by focusing on a few skills, tweaking and refining as I go, my goal is within reach – and without the fear, anxiety, and stress it would have caused me had I gone about it head on without a helmet. And I’ll be able to use this experience, along with my newfound skills, as a springboard for personal growth and achieving more success in the future. I like this idea of “growth-setting” and I’m going to try it in other areas of my life as well. I hope it gives you a bit of encouragement to find a way to search for, choose, and practice skills that will lead you toward your goals and aspirations. I wish you the best of luck and a very happy 2024!
#personalgrowth2024 #growin2024
The information provided on this website is intended for educational purposes only and is, in no way, a substitute for professional medical advice. The events, practices, and opinions discussed here are those of the author and should be treated as such. ALWAYS talk with your doctor about conditions, medications, and concerns you have about your health and work together to determine the best course of action for you.
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